Sooo, here’s the thing… I’m really not loving that people still have their profile pictures set to them dressed as a zombie hooker, or a homeless person, or whatever other Halloween costume they could hilariously throw together without looking like they tried too hard.  It’s fucking almost Christmas, which means you should definitely fuck yourself because you’re clearly not very cool. 

Another thing I’m not loving is the wedding photo profile picture thing.  It’s like, unless you got married yesterday, stop trying to rub it in my face that he’ll probably never propose. 

And one other thing! Enough with the ironic Christmas sweaters!!!!

alien brody sex

The two have more in common than you’d think. You know that movie Splice?  The one where Sarah Polley (yeah, that horribly unattractive blonde woman with freakishly elongated gums who can’t act but still manages to whore her way into, like, every movie ever) and Adrien Brody somehow splice together alien genes with human genes to make an unbelievably good-looking/deadly female alien thing? Anyway, spoiler alert: About 50 minutes into the film Adrien Brody full-on has sex with the alien thing.  Then, at the end of the film, the female alien-thing grows a penis, presumably turning into a male alien-thing, and rapes AND impregnates Sarah Polley. 

Worst. Movie. Ever.

Ahhhh, yes. This feels right.  Mmmm.  It’s warm in here.  Cozy.  And it feels… familiar.  As if I’ve been blogging here for years.  I think we’re off to a good start. 

Okay! My name is Nina! I’m a judgmental 23 year old pizza enthusiast.  I hate just about everyone, save for a few lucky individuals (aka Megan and Gabi), and I almost always have something negative to say. 

If you’re one of those people that’s like “hate is a strong word!”, or that makes one of those stupid “eeeeyuck” faces when you walk past someone smoking a cigarette, you should probably get the fuck out now because I’m definitely going to be talking about you in here.